Be Kind to yourself

colours-photography (11)People all over the world seek, strive and struggle to find happiness. The one thing i see more an more each day is the answer to the question, why am i not happy? More and more of us have become invested in lives that aren’t our own. We look out for our family, friends, care about the lollipop lady, which is all well and truly great, but whilst doing all of this caring, everyone forgets about the most important one of all. Themselves.

We live in a world controlled by economy and politics, war and famine, authority and social status. People are too busy busting their balls to earn £100.00 because they think that it will make them happy. Will it? Lets think, you’ve worked non stop, been shouted at, are tired and hungry, but hey you got your £100.00. That money will most likely provide you with joy and fill the happiness hole inside you for about 5 minutes, then you go back to feeling hungry, tired and frustrated, dreading the next day in which you have to go back and do it all again. We think that we have to ‘push’ and ‘force’ ourselves to do these things in order to achieve happiness, but ‘pushing’ and ‘forcing’ are such negative words. So explain to me how starting off negative will lead to becoming more positive? You have already painted the baseline in negative thoughts and emotions and no matter how hard you try to cover it up, the original will always seep through and bite you on the ass.

Therefore in order to create happiness for yourself, you need to take it right back to basics and be kind to you. Look after yourself when you are feeling down or vulnerable. Don’t go and force yourself to go to a party just because you think that you should, as it might make the anxiety go away. 9 times out of 10 that wont happen and you’ll be sat, drink in hand wishing that you had just done what you initially wanted to do. Curl up in bed with a book and a cup of hot chocolate. When you’re feeling down, take care of yourself, be gentle and help yourself relax instead of pressuring yourself to ‘get over it’ Watch Netflix, read a book, go for a walk or even take a nap. Save cleaning the house and going bike riding for a time when you are feeling well, with more energy and motivation because then you are 100% more likely to actually enjoy yourself.

I see it all of the time where people say ‘But i have to look after my kids’ or ‘i have to look after the dogs’ or ‘i have to look after everybody because nobody else will do anything’ These people are generally at the top of the unhappy bunch. Even comments such as ‘i would rather them be happy than me’ or ‘if they are well and happy then so am i’ These people have forgotten themselves, they are literally floating away into the night sky and they are just letting themselves float on by. I was one of these people and i thought that i was being selfish if i didn’t want somebody else to be happier than me. But do you know what is selfish? Thinking that you don’t matter or that others deserve more of your own love and attention then you do. That’s selfish, because what about you? Look who doesn’t care about the body that houses their most precious gems, that allows them to speak to others, hold their child and walk down the beach with their loved one. Even the mind that gives them the motivation to get up in the morning. If you all of a sudden lost every ability that your body, mind and soul provides for you, leading you to the point where you couldn’t do anything, wouldn’t your loved one then think that you were being selfish?

Basically, taking care of you is the very first and basic step to reaching any goal towards a happier life. Let your body and mind recover and then you will find it easier to get on with the things you enjoy with the people that you love. Learn what works best for you, what soothes you when your feeling upset or stressed, not what distracts you. A distraction lasts for a second, it doesn’t take away or cure the bad feeling inside. Be gentle, kind and considerate to your day to day actions. Don’t beat yourself up because it just forces more negativity into you and the rest of the world. Tell yourself that ‘its ok’ and sooth some positivity back into your heart. Its pretty simple really,

-Robyn Sno 


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