We complain about the most pointless, unimportant things that occur in our day to day
lives. For example, the weather, how busy a car park is, your mobile phone rings and you cant be bothered to talk to the person on the other end. If you wrote down all of the activates that you did in the day, every little thing that you did, I bet more than 50% of them would have involved a moan, a whinge, a sigh or an unattractive face pull. You see, when we complain, we are referring to something better that we would prefer, but we are unwilling to take the risk. An example:
‘Your grade on that assignment is better than mine’ Firstly ask yourself, Did you put as much effort as you could into that assignment? Did you read all the material, make notes and listen to the audios? Did you expand on your points until exhausted or did you simply state them and move on? Did you follow the assignment structure? The list could go on. You can’t change the past, therefore you have your rubbish grade, but you can choose how you deal with it. You can do 3 things:
- Wallow in your complaint and let it bring you down even more.
- Take responsibility for your choice or action and stop complaining.
- Risk doing something new to improve or create something that you truly want.
I reckon a lot of us would sit with a cup of tea, all snuggled up on the couch in our onesies and wallow like there’s no tomorrow. Self hate would come into play and the bad person in your head will tell you how rubbish you are and that you can’t do anything. Then you will get the ice cream or a chocolate bar out and try to make yourself feel better, when really you just end up putting yourself in a comfortable situation to complain some more about something new.
If we took responsibility for our complaint, recognise and then change our response. ‘I got a poor grade, but I could have put more effort into my research; but at least I passed.’ Mark your mistake or negative reaction with a post it note and then create a very small positive to just make it a little lighter.
The thing that people don’t tend to do is take a risk into doing something that could improve or bring about changes in there lives. This is because risks take a lot of work, a lot of energy and us mere mortals only have so much to play with (we tell ourselves) Risks are scary and unpredictable, but it doesn’t have to be anything major. I’m not asking you to go out and save the world from the joker or anything. With my assignment example, I could simply review my work and note down specific areas to improve on. Make a structure or plan for my next assignment. Then go and list all of the resources that I am going to use before hand. All the little things soon mount up to one big thing and instead of complaining about your grade, you let out an over the top, uncontrollable yelp of excitement because you got your best grade ever.
All in all, complaining is human nature and it sucks the fucking life out of us. It pulls on all our positive energy to produce a negative impact. Next time you complain about something; think can I do anything about it? If not accept and move on, if you can then choose something small and bloody well give it a go.